Saturday, September 20, 2014
I’ll have a new way of life before this one ends, or else life will simply cease. Upon the Nature of Change
Sunday, August 31, 2014

Pseudo-ku II

Solids have atoms
that hold firm to their bonds. They
crack from broken bonds.

Friday, August 15, 2014

News Travels Fast

Did you hear? There’s a riot in the streets.
Another boy got shot at 18.
It’s like a present to die before twenty,
and the police seem to think we like it.

Did you hear? There’s a riot in the streets.
Young ones looting up places,
And shooting up places.
The police shot back.

Did you hear? There’s a riot in the streets.
Shootings echo in Missouri.
They come back after being attacked,
and they attack back.

Did you hear? There’s a riot in the streets.
They gassed the people in Ferguson.
They come back after being attacked,
and they attack back.

Did you hear? There’s gonna be a riot in the streets.
Folks in Ferguson saying they’re scared.
Police just give warnings, like they ain’t scared.
When did the police only worry about making us scared?

Did you hear? About them riots in the streets?
Yeah I heard. Now I say “fuck the police.”
Nah but they got families too.
So did them kids, but what did they do?

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

A Thought for a Stranger

I met a man in the train several months ago. He was a Nigerian immigrant whose story I’ll never hear again as I’ve forgotten his face. However, I remember his pride and his happiness in divulging about Nigeria. I hope the outbreaks of Ebola have not ruined his appetite. He was a very sweet man.

8-12-14

I was enjoying a nice day up until the evening news at 6 here in San Antonio. I had spent the entire day relaxing and sleeping with Rocky, my brother’s dog. He successfully learned how to roll over, and I felt very proud of him and myself for having the patience I often lack. Not only that, but I dug up more dirt in my brother’s yard and had a good time of the exercise. Then, during dinner, I heard the words “Robin Williams dead-” and I stopped eating.

Maybe it was the marathon of Mork & Mindy. Maybe it was my joy in seeing “The Crazy Ones.” Maybe it was my endless enjoyment of Aladdin. Maybe it was the magnificent role he played in Good Will Hunting. But my meal was stopped and my eyes remained on that TV until it ended.

I heard a Mrs. Doubtfire joke just hours before the news, and it was a bitter coincidence. My youth escapes me from the time of Michael Jackson’s death to Robin Williams’. Both were heroes to me that set examples for philanthropic endeavors.

I share this along with others in awe, and make no mistake of it as a passing thought. Seven hours since I heard the news, and the moments of silence have yet satisfied.

Thursday, August 7, 2014
sansaspark:

magconbabe-matt:

This shit better work

HAH I REBLOGGED THIS LAST NIGHT AND LOOK WHAT I GOT FROM MY DAD TODAY OUT OF THE BLUE

sansaspark:

magconbabe-matt:

This shit better work

HAH I REBLOGGED THIS LAST NIGHT AND LOOK WHAT I GOT FROM MY DAD TODAY OUT OF THE BLUE

"It’s Creepy if It Doesn’t Work; It’s Romantic if It Does!"

A walk with you
would be fine indeed.
I’ll see your hair
flow and fly so free.
What fine pleasure
it must be
to be picked
to walk with thee.

I would like that you
would bless my arm,
and let wrap yourself
within my charms.
In the morn’
I’d learn your yawn
and your fear of
me forgone.

But our walk will
scarcely end my way.
A walk is still
a distant day
from coming
to night of play.
So I ask
with this and say

give me all faith
and last chances.
Mine will be the last
of your romances.
If part of you
a “can’t” says,
then I’ll end all
advances.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

5-17-14

I really wish I had written the dates with the day first instead of the month when I started doing these, now I can’t change it…

I am going away, into a hole of a place and from which I shall come out a better writer. I hope that I can post on tumblr again now that I am free to write as much as I want.

I’ve recently been struggling to go back to writing. Seeing my old works, and the transformation of subject when my father passed away - I could see my growth for myself.

My voice has changed, it is no longer of a lovelorn adolescent but the voice of a man who disfavors himself for being a child for so long. I hope it will come out with as much light and joy as I feel after writing it.

Welcome to my new mind.

I Love It!

I love it! With all my heart I do!
But with how much love can that be when my heart has yet been whole again?

I love it still! With all I can, I love it still!
But if I never should find myself complete, will this love ever be fulfilling?

I must love it! It is without much choice that I must love it!
But is it love if I am only running away from a broken heart?

Monday, January 27, 2014

Hush Now

The lull that follows
Your words, does it make you feel
Self-conscious at all?

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Empathy

It is wonderful. Absolutely great. To have connected with someone in a relatable sense, empathy is fantastic. We are all capable of it, and when we show it, we create a comfort unfounded in any other place. Empathy is the greatest gift beside the unprovoked kind deed.

I have told people bits of me, and when they are particularly dark or tragic, I find nothing but proof of human kindness. Cynicism is very much alive, and at times painful, but even the most hardened cynic is capable of empathy.

Now what is empathy? It is the ability to leave someone with the feeling of support without judgment, kindness without reward, and it is sublime. Now empathy cannot exist with insult or snide remark, question of moral character or otherwise. Empathy is the ear devoid of lips, to listen but not speak against. I am eternally putting myself under the scope, being taught lessons by people, but it is ironic.

I am often being taught something opposite to the intent of my teacher. I had someone tell me to do this or that, but in actually I just wanted an opinion without aggression. It turned into an argument, and I wish I hadn’t handled it so poorly. The person felt I was showing weakness in my resolve. I just wanted an opinion. This person showed no empathy, no consideration before words, and in turn I simply shut off the capacity to show understanding because I felt misunderstood. Following the matter, the other party did not go further into the discourse, and I had to leave it at that.

Empathy is what creates the potential for discussion. Either we discuss our thoughts, or we close that off. I feel deeply disappointed, but reality cannot create perfection as it is a pursuit not a creation. As a person who enjoys hearing a whole perspective, I have that bias of youth and ignorance. In time, I may disagree, or I may find more evidence to support this message.

As people, let us empathize more. I wish for more empathy all the time, but I cannot find it in others if I cannot find it in myself. This moment was born by my hand, not the other party’s.

Thank you for reading. I thank you most for your empathy, your compassion for having read to this point. You are proof in human kindness.

1-1-14

It is the first morning of 2014, and I seem incapable of sleep. Not that I have no choice, I just have some thoughts to ponder.

I had spent so much of last year questioning, and it is not all negative. I tackled depression head first and I’m still struggling with the remnants of the matter. I no longer hold thoughts of suicide, or any of that strangeness. To any who struggle, you have my deepest hope and faith to be strong. If you are depressed, I cannot say that matters can be better, but just I can say that you are stronger than you believe. We all are stronger than we imagine, and when we imagine ourselves perfect, we simply did not know that perfection is even greater than we are already.

Now back to why I am posting this - at 4am of all hours. I am trying to get published, I am trying to pursue my dancing with all the vigor I once showed, and I am trying very hard to not get in my own way. I have never been burnt out before, but hopefully I will have discovered the sensation after spring or before it.

And in trying to get published, I have questioned my actions. If I write things here, they may prove adverse to my publication. If my thoughts are worth anything, they’ll only be worth being said. Being heard is just an added bonus. So if published on paper or here, they deserve it and nothing more or less. So I’ve decided to write this recent thought here. Not particularly profound, but very much a great revelation.

See you in my next post!